It’s so interesting what happens when we stop seeing relationship success solely in terms of whether the connection lasts for a life-time, and start seeing relational success in terms of whether we have learned from it, expanded from it, grown to the next stage on our self-creation journey. When we move from this perspective, relationship becomes a wonderful depth charge for our own healing and expansion. Nothing to fear, just more grist for the soul mill. If we find a lifelong partner - great! - but if we don't, we get better at partnering with our inner lover.

- Jeff Brown, author of Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation, see http://www.soulshaping.com/

The very fact that we are trying to heal our hearts in a world where so many have had to bury their hurt is already extraordinary. It may not seem like such a big deal, but when the energy has been moving in another direction for so many generations, it is quite a challenge to turn the tide. We are breaking new inner ground, after all. Cultures are inch worms, and so are individuals. It takes real time to effect sustainable change. Recognizing this should translate into giving ourselves a break when we can't quite get it perfect. Three steps forward, two steps back is still progress.

- Jeff Brown, author of Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation, see http://www.soulshaping.com/

Learning to take care of oneself is a skill, a value, and an attitude.

To say one accepts that human beings are imperfect does not mean that you endorse their imperfection. You want to encourage those you are helping to greater heights and larger successes. But it is the recognition and encouragement of smaller successes that lead to such progress. In particular, helping people to think about how to take care of themselves, even if they continue to drink and take drugs, may be an entirely new attitude for some people. When they first start getting medical care for health problems, or eating well or avoiding infection, or staying out of legal trouble, or getting a place to live, or accumulating money, etc., this new attitude can grow so that it crowds out all problem drug use or drinking.

What we consider substance abuse therapy in the United States consists largely of exhortation—"quit drug taking and drinking!" Real therapists must know how to improve the conditions of a range of clients, from those who are ahead of the therapist in curing themselves, to those who merely need encouragement, to those who need help to avoid falling off the edge, to those who may have given up and who are waiting —or helping themselves—to die.

- excerpt from The Stanton Peele Addiction Website, on the subject of Harm Reduction